A microscopic home.

this is a literary blog. i'm literate so i must have something to say. hopefully.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

variations zine vol. 2 is out now. There are going to be forty issues released for free in the sarnia community and the rest will be sold for $5.00 each with the money going towards the zine and a potential issue in colour for the end of the summer.

If you would like to order one and are in some other city, or couldn't get your hands on your own in sarnia, you can email me at imagesofagirl@gmail.com , or if you are in Sarnia, you can order through stardust book lounge, just say you want them to take your name down so I know how many to make. Also there will be copies sold through Bywords store as soon as I ship them out Ottawa way, so you can order in Ottawa that way. (bywords.ca

All issues have been pieced together by hand.

Also I will be having a book come out in Sarnia. It will be 8 poems and 5 pictures made by hand and typewritten out. each copy will be signed. these will also be sold at stardust, but again if you would like to order your copy at $20 each, email me as well. There will also be a smaller book made by hand of 8 short poems and paintings for $3.00 each. Hopefully San Ria Printing Company will have a website up and running soon so it isn't quite such a hassle.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

it's 3:04 and i've had a good hour of sleep so far in the last, what two or three days now. i'm actually having other physical side effects of withdrawal. big discussion about boundaries with counsellor today which resulted in final confrontation with parents. i no longer feel responsible for their lack of knowledge. they can never once again say I haven't tried to explain to them. hell, at one point I ripped off a giant piece of craft paper from my roll taped it to the side of the house, drew a picture of my head and gave a lecture about ssri's, panic attacks, manic depression/bipolar tendencies. and finally that i'm moving out of here. probably by the end of the month. solely because I can no longer help them anymore, and I know now that they will never get it. tonight I just finally realized that no matter how many times things are translated for them, how simplified, it won't matter. they just will not get it.

evening ended well with long discussion with shawn and mason in ee. accidently left iain at tunneys in an attempt to drink beer and get angry about parents, but instead was distracted by learning about naturalization of plant life from shawn until Iain came back and had drank the whole picture and shawn and I walked to our very close northern neighborhoods. i guess now that's the only real negative about moving home is no conversational walks. Its rare to find people who really want to talk to you about something. or anything. glad to have made a new friend this week. iain also mentioned today or some other day that he was going to crack mason open like a fortune cookie and see the little mason vye message inside. found the whole thing humorous if one knows the said characters in this story and realizes that at the time iain was wearing a fedora and we were smoking a pipe on a bench in downtown sarnia.

i do love randomness. appreciating it more in human beings. also have discovered that if one has a little tape recorder to carry around all the time, it is easier to remember things later, and you don't feel nearly as silly talking outloud and really working through things. fell asleep for that hour this morning, muttering into it. haven't listened yet, hopefully it was more profound then slober.

must keep updating this as much as possible, counsillor likes the idea. must placate.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

So it is one of those nights where I am up at 4:36 in the morning. coming off medication this quickly fucks one right up. my sleeping hours here nor there, i had an interesting last few days. On friday I was accosted while putting up poetry downtown by a sculptor friend who invited me for beer (which yes I actually drank) and talk of art. On an interesting trip home where a drunken scott and I ran into three kids roughly 16-18, and after seeing scott home finally with the help of the three guys, we went back to their place to smoke pot. I tried to give great lectures about the realities that adults hide from them; mould their young minds. Turns out the youngest only lives a block away from me.
next day I had to meet christian for lunch at blackwater, then chevalier in the park at 2, a joint with blair and christian around 2:30 and the closing of Look 2006 at the lambton art gallery. Ezio won people's choice award for this very wicked collage that he did of faces on wood. Talked briefly with several ppl, was told by Jen brace that I was a sweet person, argued with an artist about obsessive compulsive disorder in artists of any form, and drank a bunch of wine. Unfortunately the drug they have me on to ween off the effexor did not mix well. Stumbled to where iain works [pub under drawbridge] almost passsing out because I am an idiot and forgot to think about the mixture, people just kept handing me wine. slept from 5:30 in the aft until late the next day, ate pancakes with my mother, hung out all day in the cold sun, watched a bit of kung fu hustle which is a hilarious movie and ended the day with a reading at ezio's open mic night at blackwater. The reading went well and was received with accolades and annoying remarks from certain rugby wearing bastards (ahem..nailer.). Scariest part was that my parents came. It was the first time they have ever seen me read and I was terrified. Afterwards went to smoke joints with shawn mcknight and have late night conversation with him about energy, environment, art etc. managed to get home alright. pleased with the evening.

today was beautiful. i came up with two ideas for this months cover. one is an old stand by but really produces beautiful things and the other is something new and will take longer, and I don't know if i have that much time. Also had a major religious discussion with Iain's mother who is a devout united christian. The conversation was heated, lets just say at one point she told me she felt jesus in side of her at all times and I asked if he had purchased him bunk beds. It was interesting to argue with the faithful. they amuse me, but still I desire their ignorance sometimes. [and I am not using ignorant in a pejorative way here - more in a blissful state of their own choice through blatant avoidance of knowledge.] Today I also spoke with blair about synonyms and language, listened to cat steven and paul simon records and ate pot brownies for the first time ever.

now am awake still. three people have suggested I release a book in sarnia of my own stuff., i think i might try, but knowing me, I would have to throw myself hard into it.

but what's the point otherwise.

tonight I was reading freud on the pathology of human interaction. Also double checked some points iain's mom made tonight in the bible dictionary I have taken out from the library [she was wrong], and some of candide by voltaire. Also today showed Iain the marquis de sade's writings which appear very similar to voltaires style in candide. in particular Justine.

today was my very last day of effexor.

wish me a worlds of luck, and if not that much
at least a degree.