it's 3:04 and i've had a good hour of sleep so far in the last, what two or three days now. i'm actually having other physical side effects of withdrawal. big discussion about boundaries with counsellor today which resulted in final confrontation with parents. i no longer feel responsible for their lack of knowledge. they can never once again say I haven't tried to explain to them. hell, at one point I ripped off a giant piece of craft paper from my roll taped it to the side of the house, drew a picture of my head and gave a lecture about ssri's, panic attacks, manic depression/bipolar tendencies. and finally that i'm moving out of here. probably by the end of the month. solely because I can no longer help them anymore, and I know now that they will never get it. tonight I just finally realized that no matter how many times things are translated for them, how simplified, it won't matter. they just will not get it.

evening ended well with long discussion with shawn and mason in ee. accidently left iain at tunneys in an attempt to drink beer and get angry about parents, but instead was distracted by learning about naturalization of plant life from shawn until Iain came back and had drank the whole picture and shawn and I walked to our very close northern neighborhoods. i guess now that's the only real negative about moving home is no conversational walks. Its rare to find people who really want to talk to you about something. or anything. glad to have made a new friend this week. iain also mentioned today or some other day that he was going to crack mason open like a fortune cookie and see the little mason vye message inside. found the whole thing humorous if one knows the said characters in this story and realizes that at the time iain was wearing a fedora and we were smoking a pipe on a bench in downtown sarnia.


i do love randomness. appreciating it more in human beings. also have discovered that if one has a little tape recorder to carry around all the time, it is easier to remember things later, and you don't feel nearly as silly talking outloud and really working through things. fell asleep for that hour this morning, muttering into it. haven't listened yet, hopefully it was more profound then slober.

must keep updating this as much as possible, counsillor likes the idea. must placate.