centennial and canatara park

sixty watts


crash down from the ceiling I can


to the tune of light bulbs breakings



and breakers that malfunction in twitches



to be electric,

with circuits like veins
stinging my body


oh, would I be a dream


of soundless, stirring fires.


ambrose


on a damp deck
down on Hollywood
my grandfather
sat with growing belly
dangling over sweaty
trousers,
though pleated.

stretched his frame out like
a lawn chair

swallowed down a glass
of lemonade
and taught me
follow the ace.

Turn back, O man, forswear thy foolish ways,
Old now is earth, and none may count her days;
yet thou, her child, whose head is crowned with flames,
still wilt not hear thine inner God proclaim,
Turn back, O man, forswear thy foolish ways.

Earth might be fair and all men glad and wise,
Age after age their tragic empires rise
built while they dream; and in that dreaming weep:
would man but wake from out his haunted sleep
earth might be fair and all men glad and wise.

Clifford Bax

I am an atheist, however I was raised in the United church system. I went to the church just up the street and around the corner from me, Parker Street United. I actually did not mind it as a church and I never really felt pressured to have particular beliefs. I am very glad I grew up with this and I very much appreciate the chance to develop my own views.

I come to this topic because I found an old hymn book that I had stolen from the church (isn't that sort of ironic?) I wanted to use some lines from a particular hymn for a poem I was writing, but as I opened it up I saw what is titled "A New Creed" It is the creed of united churches everywhere as of 1968 and reapproved in 1980. This is what it says:

We are not alone, we live in God's world.

We believe in God:
who has created and is creating
who has come in Jesus, the Word
made flesh, to reconcile
and make new,
who works in us and others
by the spirit.

We are called to be the Churh:
to celebrate God's presence,
to love and serve others,
to seek justice and resist evil,
to prolaim Jesus, crucified and risen,
our judge and our hope.

In life, in death, in life beyond death,
God is with us

We are not alone.

Thanks be to God.


Now as far as religious creeds go, this one is very positive. It gives me a lot of respect for the United Church as they are really just saying that hey guys, god is cool with you and he's everywhere. I like the idea of that. It is much more accessible then other religions such as Catholicism and extreme Christianism or Mormonism. etc etc. Not to be judgemental, I mean, if you are one of the above mentioned religons and would like to have a discussion about religion with me and you feel you have something to teach me, go right ahead.

Religion has always fascinated me because I always view it as the greatest example of the human ego. People convince themselves that we as humans are more, simply because we cannot handle the reality of existence ending for us. We want something more. There are others reasons of course, why people would choose religion. Of course it provides a level of structure for a community, it can be a safe haven, a place for people to socialize and come together, and it provides certain individuals with a level of hope. However, one has to admit that religion has, on a universal basis, caused more complications and death then anything else. It's unfortunate really. I am considering reading the bible in March. I've already read it many times, but this time I am hoping to write some serious papers on my views. I'd like to see what I could do with that. Maybe write up some atheist pamplets. haha. That would go over well.

oh the weather outside is frightful.

sun city

Wednesday afternoon and the backyard in this
shithole is fenced in with green and white diagonal stripes
her body is taut and fresh and young, - almost so skinny
to be a breath and her thighs end in a tanned round curve,
but I can see the streaks of self tanner
the lazy piña colada night time primping
the light from a Hawaiian lei girl lamp
circling around while cherry red nailpolish
gathers in pools at her feet

the swim suit she wears gathers and bunches in this weather
in the dark crevices of her body,

she stretches and toys with an umbrella
bought in some small cheap store on the corner of
fourth and fifth under a palm tree
a blow up doll with a round pink mouth
open in constant discomfort
poised in the window display

------

she curls her toes

the bleach blond of her hair
smells like surf board wax
and dollar bills.

the palm trees in the colonnade
glisten with sweat
and dust.


even in the dull throb of summertime
smoke still blossoms
from the chimneys

and cardboard boxes rot in the
alleyway behind the
thrift store


-


she sneers and thumbs a quarter at the bucket
on the pool deck. she misses by two inches maybe more

shakes her head and runs

leaves a trail of

come on’s.

edit: to untangle these things

sit me down in a field where the heavy clouds churn
and sway and I will explain to
you my calloused fingers; my internal bruising.


you will swear that my skin is the colour
of wheat at harvest

-

I crawl into your lap
to construct a desensitized version
of our history

but
you say staying would be worthless, soon
the bats will challenge the treeline

the sky would turn black
at first chance.


-

all I can do is shake out my stringy curls
into the warmth of this day
say,

you will always find me
held as close as rain.

so do not waste my time waiting in the city

we may forget how to raise the sun.

to untangle these things

sit me down in a field
where the grey clouds turn
and sway and I will show
you my calloused fingers
my internal bruising


you will swear that my skin is the colour
of wheat at harvest and
I will crawl into your lap
construct a desensitized version
of our past
buzz in a harmonic vision

you say staying would be worthless
because it soon will go to black.
the bats will challenge the sky line
with their radar and I will run into the woods
to flee

at first chance.


-

all I can do is shake out my stringy curls
into the warmth of this day
say,


the sun will forever bob
and clear the trees and you will always find me
held as close as rain.

so do not waste my time waiting in the city

we may forget the vocabulary of
this place.