someone edit? this will be expanded on. just quickly jotted down.
Although my memories to this day remain unclear, the fog is lifting slightly. I can live in the moment to the greatest extent that I possibly ever have. However how does one define this concept of the ‘moment’? Does it even exist? The idea of now cannot even exist in seconds. Without knowing it, people are living it, existing within its mold. Although one does not always have the capacity to comprehend that even though they do not recognize the now for what it is, be it defined by any symptom, any synonym, any state of being, any restraint, any confliction, one is, by the very act of existence, living in the now. Does this make the person conscious of this idea, a better human, or rather does it burden them with the annoyance of living within a second, a millisecond, within the very fraction of existence. Does it make them constantly question their state of being, and therefore unhappier then the rest of the populous? How many people stay up at night bothered by this idea, how many people are so enlightened, yet so debilitated by this very knowledge. Is this applicable to everything? If one is considered a genius, for example, does this mean that due to their ability to comprehend things on a different level then most of the populous, to achieve a state of being, a state of thought that is different and at conflict with the rest, that they will automatically be hindered by their own enlightenment and therefore incapable of ever achieving happiness? Is it only applicable to the stupid? Those who do not bother with philosophy? Does living in the now mean living in the physical reality of our lives, our jobs, our cultural restraints and idioms? Does happiness even exist? Is it tangible? Is it a photograph? Is it a story? Is it something that we’ve recorded, we’ve arranged to feign? To pretend like it is possible? Or is it. Is the thing that evades me the most, that evades most who have thoughts that contradict those around them, that are the enlightened few, are we just weak because we cannot see this happiness, we are capable in one set of defined abilities. Are we so consumed by thoughts that are greater then ourselves and those around us that we can never really truly live in the ‘now?’ Or are we living in it more then anyone else because we are so conscious of it? Or, because we are so conscious, we are incapable of actual life as defined by society, culture, and our own mind.
