A microscopic home.

v-day. february 14, 2008.

2008-02-14T17:46:00.000-08:00

Today I was exhausted. I sat in front of the damn lamp again, and shortly thereafter, passed out on the couch reading alias grace by margaret atwood [which is turning out to be quite the interesting novel.] I spent most of my day nearly passed out, lethargic and at times confused about what was going on. I missed the man who brought the flowers from justin, and woke up to find a note saying they had dropped them off next door. Now we just moved into a rather nice gothic house downtown but on the bridge of a pretty sketchy neighbourhood and so I really didn't want to go next door. Not to mention that the sheer fact of talking a person makes me sometimes want to vomit. But I wanted my damn flowers, I was excited to be getting them, so greed won out and I walked next door, knocked and waited, knocked and waited. No answer. So I emailed by fiance in a rather upset manner, blaming myself for what had happened and embarassed I had no flowers to show for all his money and effort. I couldn't even get up to get the damn flowers. I thought I dreamt someone coming to the door, but I guess not. Anyways, we got them back eventually, went to a small diner for a valentines day meal & then home for wine, fornication and drug induced dreams.
valentines truly is something that is a. celebrated for the wrong reason b. a hallmark holiday. So don't feel bad. but you probably will anyways. I would. i hate advice like that. now I'm rambling. surely the wine. goodnight.

february 13, 2008. 8.34 am.

2008-02-13T05:42:00.000-08:00

I just sat under a S.A.D lamp. It is supposed to take away all of my winter time blues, this impenetrable sadness, this cloak that I am constantly under, well I’ll tell you what, I would love to see this lamp lift off my cloak. But I am not too certain that is likely. I don’t really know what it is supposed to do for me, with its space age looking frame and 10,000 lux wattage. Oh I think I’ll probably get a sun tan underneath of it before I am removed of my seasonal depression. 20-30 minutes a day for happiness. Hmm. Happiness. Such an intangible product. A malevolent foe. I do not know if I will ever truly be at that point. I have been close, currently and in the past, but always, always there is a nagging voice in my head that says, this will not be alright, no, this will not be okay. And it makes me want to drink a beer or smoke a joint. It makes me want to not take my medication. Especially when I wake up a zombie after a drug induced sleep, with sleep still in my eyes, and on my night clothes, with sleep lingering in every corner of my room, with my rambunctious fiancé screaming out, “there is coffee downstairs! Coffee, wake up!” I wonder how, when my limbs way pounds and pounds, I am supposed to pull off this whole housewife act that I have gotten myself into. It’s not as though this man makes me be anything special, he doesn’t require that I fold laundry or vacuum the floor [unless the floor REALLY needs to be vacuumed, then I should probably just do it,] Even last night over talk of this new reality of mine, he told me to make my art a business, one I have to get up and do everyday, to forget about the normal household tasks and reserve some time at the end of the day for them, but to focus on what I want to get done, what I would like to get out there. But in truth, I have no idea what to get out there. The depression drags me down. These months used to be for writing incessantly about the snow and ice, how the cold freezes the lungs, how our fingers are frozen together, but now it only for moping around a big gothic brick house, and doctors visits, and S.A.D lamps, and lectures on mental illness. Again, it makes me want to drink a beer. I understand why people become alcoholics and because life has not always been so kind to me, I have to really watch myself. A few beers a week is all I can have. Or else I will spiral, and the doctors, my family and my fiancé are always waiting in the wings, watching for the spiral, the collapse. Catching it before even I can. Sometimes, I wish there was no net there at all below me. I think I could create something wonderful before the fall.

construction of variations vol vii: exhibitionism

2007-11-01T09:14:00.000-07:00

starting the art for the new issue of the zine.

on what day did you die.

2007-09-12T12:18:00.001-07:00

arms bent into ornate blood clot flowers,
plasma that no longer
flows through withered veins

turn
of cheek away & back again

an eyeblink - did it.

ashen carapace, only a loaner
anyways,

an elongated jack-o-lantern
smudge of lip

your jaw is nestled against a back of skull

the congregation,
it howls pitiful hymns

satin lined sarcophagus

for this plaster template

the 30 year reservation for it's lot.

new poems.

2007-06-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

ottawa

a greyhound down the highway

twelve hours full of layovers & sweating

men having difficulties with vinyl seats

here in this city so small I dreamt

of championing that ordeal

in sake of some inexpressible

pull

towards you

the son,

I do not understand the math

behind gravity

why should I know this

tongue, so foreign.

my eyes are thick

your hands bigger than mine

older & full of

messiness

higher priorities

feminine fingers

that mostly are not

mine.

Snippet of sarnia & outlying areas

the deranged rapids

take bodies like a serial killer

affixing the appendages to

invisible rock embankments

divers have known of the massacre

for years

inconveniently the chemicals

from the plants are taken upstream

the boredom of corunna kills

more than even the sea.

So there is an ice cream shop

& a convenience store

baseball diamonds

the kids lean against the cement

wall of the bank and snort

coke with five dollar bills

rolled into straws.

the stoners throw rocks at

trucks off the overpass

and laugh and laugh

at nothing.

lethargy

in the sense

I am being it

prod

tive.

tidying up my words

to rows they line up

like corn with a pathway

between big enough for

myself only to wander.

Would they argue I am incomplete

this mischievous & intolerable agitation

pins me always to a ground I cannot

bear.

please,

do bear with me as much as I must

to that ground.

without want,

but some forceful need.

clench your teeth.

if we’re going to figure this out

there needs to be pressure

poem.

2007-05-28T22:50:00.000-07:00

prima facie.

spear with

your tongue the word that

undoes me.

quantify your prediction with calculations

from the sun

& make sure to use stiff, old instruments

callously past their due date.

gather evidence

record the letters

gather evidence

there are signs of exhaustion.

make sure to affix the label to

the finished product:

a tumor, not malignant

but one, a

needless

infection

product of upbringing & biology.

full of spores &

ancient sores

lined pages on arm.

photos: may 2-4 in my backyard. fireworks.

2007-05-22T00:16:00.000-07:00

make sure to click on the pictures and view them larger. they look a lot nicer that way.

photos of Phil Baljeu & Justin Gray in : Burning Panties & Wearing Gasmasks/ RCL COMMISSION @ blackwater

2007-05-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

BURNING PANTIES & WEARING GAS MASKS
Justin Gray & Phil Baljeu of Amok Recordings

RCL COMMISSION
blackwater cafe.
Justin Gray & Phil Baljeu

oh birthday. [thursday april 26, I turned 24.] - pt 1

2007-05-08T09:24:00.000-07:00

only two more years until i'm equal in age to the day i was born on. I used to be terrified of that when I was a kid. i think perhaps I still am.

these are posted backwards. they played music at the end. we drank at the beginning and I passed out for two hours somewhere in between.

i still have a few more to post up of the dinner with the family before hand. just ran out of time right now. enjoy these. maybe i'll organize them later.

new variations

2007-05-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

new poems./ old poems

2007-04-30T14:25:00.000-07:00

1. april 28th, 2007 outside wandering the streets.

once I carved my initials into my arm.
is that a true statement or do you just believe it so.
perhaps, just likely.

how much more is assumed.

inside of this plastic casing there lies the piece of me left human.

sadness ate and digested the rest.

do other people wake up in the morning
exhausted by the act of living

is this normal.

why then ?

[gods joke – self preservation]

lately

lately there has been a receiving of fragments

moments harsh like mid afternoon sun on eyelids /

a suspect warmth

spring came as you said but I still think you a liar

it would take many rotations of this planet

more then you have left.

I cannot bear your eyes,

swollen brown statements

on everything, face mocking

you are breezy and careless with how you make others feel

new

this entity
to dissect

limbs, not skinny,
thin.

curly hair. brown like mud
pies on sunny afternoons

always a brief pause
before skin & skin on mine.

I do not know what
fills this heavy chest up more than
that upon which I gaze.

hand touching face, a half moon grip. /possible

that I would like to glue it there forever.

hands. these hands. I’ve watched how they move.

2. the man unnamed

he died with me
under a log in the woods
where we cowered
hands clutching the under shrubbery

he had been such a stately man
around he would walk
with each foot in front of
the other like everyone else
and not someone special.
someone extraordinary.

then he would glance
smile nod at each who would
meet his, and follow through
with firm handshakes
when offered a hand.

also, on occassions
where he was asked to flip upside
down he was capable of
answering
the sky is in fact green
geese fly in w's
and do not know where the direction
south is.

he could pull himself up,
his pleated cotton paints,
and in all his glory become
a giant in a very small chair,
suddenly the man in the room.

though, there were others who
could have had secrets,
only his ruled the
crowds whispers.

he died,
with his hands held firmly
at his side, shoulders
back. grinning at the
thought of mortality.

on the decline

mirth is on decline
an indian summer came
i have not raked the leaves
they are not mine,
why should i clean up.

they collect water,
pools reflecting
ever present twilight

they sit distorted
cracking
decaying
i watch them slowly
each day and am happy

my decay is slower.

2. longer days please.

when the late afternoon stretches,
it draws a line across the sky
one that cannot be touched by human hands,
and only moved by the sheer force of the earth
to propel around the sun.

i know this, as i sit crosslegged on the grass
with my body facing the front garden,
and my unstable tilting porch.
i know this and still i wish it to last
as long as it did in summer time when the
sun in its lazy attempts
would bleary eyed, pull it's string
to slowly blot out its light.

3. guilt

what good am I to you now.

you hardly even look me in the eye

i try to hold up the sky for us
try to hold it up still
but everything turned upside down
and i was falling through it

uncontrollably.

what good am i to you now?
this foul taste in your mouth

that kind that lingers
after you have inserted the wrong thing
or removed something from your stomach
and there is an aftertaste so vile
one cannot even handle breathing.

i know the sound of you giving up.
i heard it before in the sound
of a closing door,
in the way you used to set your tea
cup down so gently on the table
and you would not then, be able to
look at me

all these late nights.

hold my hair brother
don't worry i'll hold you're hand
it will be over tomorrow
and in the yawning daylight
we will be something new.

and they tell me that they know
what they are doing
and with their needles and scalpels
they'll pull until everything will be
alright.

so close your eyes dear brother
i can only lament
the days when you we were younger

no no
this never seemed like how life would be.

brights grove.

2007-04-20T17:22:00.000-07:00

Ryan Brown. http://www.myspace.com/isanginmychainslikethesea [see his blog for his pics of the day. ]

" and the sky stretches deep. will we rest our heads to slumber neath the vines?"
-California youth and beauty, the decemberists.

photos

2007-03-10T16:14:00.000-08:00

portraits in spring. [ me & the light. ]

Ryan Brown goes Downtown. [sarnia].

a short rant.

2007-03-04T12:52:00.000-08:00

So I was on some website and at the top of the screen there was an ad that said "your depression could be" and then this animation dropped down "bi polar disorder" and beside it: "click here to take a survey to find out." and if it wasn't paid for by our lovely friends over at Seroquel Headquarters, with the catchy website: coulditbebipolar.com

fuckers.

i hate modern medicine.

HUGE UPDATE [back logs of photos/srb/justin gray/funk eh/downtown revival quartet etc.

2007-02-24T20:07:00.000-08:00

so things have been insane the last month of my life. I'll get into that later. For now, here are the backlogs of pictures.

here is me after travelling outside in the cold, picture taking.

The people out and about at blackwater. well, the people sitting around me because i wasn't feeling particularily inclined to move. that's right. i can be lazy sometimes.

Have you been involved in an emergency? Justin Gray, Blackwater Coffee Co., Feb 23/ 07.

Funk eh, puck around, feb 23, 07
Jacob Moloy - vocals
Max Williams - bass
Dave Puzak - guitar
Tim Tanner - drums

Feb 18 '07/ walk in the cold. playground series cont.

Downtown Revival Quartet & Justin Gray's Birthday Bash, Trinity Lounge, Feb 16, 07.

SRB, Trinity Lounge, Feb 9/07

Downtown Revival Quartet @ Trinity Lounge, Feb. 2nd.

the band is: Justin Gray [guitar], wulf von waldow [sax], phil baljeu [ synth/drum machine/keyboard], Bill Thompson [bass]

2007-02-18T22:06:00.000-08:00

2007-01-10T19:51:00.000-08:00

rob mclennan is the best correspondant, even if I am the worst. Here is a poem from a book I received today:

Pest Song

from modern and normal, Karen Solie.

Your habits drew me. I could tell by the way

you leave the milk out at night, bread box open

and grains untied, that you are passionate

and I was smitten, lived with you for months

before you knew I was alive, learned the wiring

of your moods, drinking from your cups

and tasting leaves of every book you’ve read, sly

and devoted as a friend. Forgetting the wisdom

of my kind, I cried out one night when you walked

through the door, and the set of your mouth

was a new kind of poison. You say

there can never just be one. It’s understood.

But be assured, you don’t know everything. I am

alone. When you bring others to our home

I make a scene. If they really loved you, they

would stay. I rest on your pillow, lick your soap,

embrace your toothbrush while you’re gone. Now

you’re setting traps, eyes mean as bleach,

but I can’t believe you really want to do me harm.

You’d miss me and not know why, my voice,

the grace notes of my feet. So I keep my hunger

wrapped up tight, watch my step, come out late

to stare at you from a dark place, and wait

until you’re fast asleep before kissing you goodnight.

my walk today, in reverse order.

2007-01-10T19:32:00.000-08:00

@ the swings
maxwell st.

the skate park
maxwell st.
sarnia.

colleen's super-fantastic going away party. [mostly finished.]

2007-01-06T18:16:00.000-08:00

The party started at blair, wulf & Erica's.

*The guest of honour*

then we went to ups n' downs.

trip to peterborough w/ colleen.

2007-01-06T14:32:00.000-08:00

smoke break: mel

2007-01-03T14:54:00.000-08:00

this afternoon was sunny.

Coffee Lodge Night: Dave Puzak, Kevin Howley, Ezio DeSantis, Zillvar Leung & Dan Howley

2007-01-03T14:31:00.000-08:00

dave puzak
w. zillvar leung

ezio desantis.

dan howley.

dan howley w. dave puzak & kev howley

kevin howley

two a.m. and nothing to do.

2007-01-03T00:17:00.000-08:00

self portrait time.
i got so bored.
insomnia makes you do things,
often procrastination ensues.
here is a prime example.

2007-01-02T13:43:00.000-08:00

everyone always asks where the web addy for this blog originated. here:

when the winter snow comes down in softly
falling flakes, I'll burn them up and
bring to us the
sea.

http://allpoetry.com/poem/1531026

new years [mostly finished. ]

2007-01-01T20:36:00.000-08:00

New Years at the kenwick building at a party w/ mostly strangers. remember that it is always helpful to have a camera.

colleen and I start off our adventure:

Colleen & chris

chris is strange.

so i'm not good with names.... .anyone want to fill these in...ahem...colleen.

colleen gets drunk:

colleen and I left the party for a bit to head over to ups n' downs to check out jen and nic playing and to see some friends, we found johnny and hijacked him and took him back to our party eventually.

johnny.
jenny b.

nick

so much argyle

claire

nic swales and jen brace were playing at ups n' downs.

we went back to the party and I brought out the sparklers:

ken.

A night at Trinity [ december 27 '06]

2007-01-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

Stool
Trinity
December 27 06

Gorf
Trinity
dec 27 06
David Off ----- Voice & Guitar Toxic Eddy ----------- Drums Cameron Bully--- Bass & Voice

The Faids
Trinity
December 27 '06
Danny Alexander-guitar Tony Alexander-bass Gregory Dawson-drums Wulf Von Waldow-sax Dustin Haliday - trumpet

portraits of friends trinity dec 27 06.

dead seed recordings

2007-01-01T19:30:00.000-08:00

dead seed recordings
sarnia library theatre
december 27, '06

james provencher: baritone box II, saxophone, accordion, clarinet, fire bells, tape loops, samples, radio static. johnny kember: electric guitar, effects processors, loops and samples, piano, organ, accordion, feedback, bells, saw/bow, snare drum, voice samples, mixing. dusty parkes: tape loops, guitar loops, acoustic guitar, accordion, violin, bass pedals, electric guitar, voice samples, organ, trumpet, mixing. drew barnet: percussion.

christmas through my eyes [pt. 1]

2007-01-01T19:12:00.000-08:00

2006-12-31T16:37:00.000-08:00

I do not want

a surge of passion

or a slow steady dribble

of lust

I want someone

to put their

hand on my

chest and

make me

succumb

to love.

2006-12-30T11:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Melissa,
Here is your horoscope
for Saturday, December 30:

Indulge in sensual pleasures: Try walking, singing and laughing. Pushing yourself to the limit spiritually, energetically or financially isn't a great idea, no matter how tempting it seems. Find another way to use this energy.

the kickass chocolate robots show: december 23, '06, campbell st. station.

2006-12-27T01:22:00.000-08:00

the chocolate robots show:
my friends enjoying a great show.

dustin.

moi.

johnny.

james & erica dancing up a storm.

colleen

the show:
the chocolate robots c.d release party.

2006-12-26T12:24:00.000-08:00

my chest feels weighted
compressed and all my ribs
are bending and cracking against
each other in an attempt
to breathe.

oh this vessel is falling apart.

I wanted to go to sea
to disappear along the horizon
end in the curve of the sky.

but there is no use.
I am not made to weather
such travels, such adventures.

I am made of soft flesh,
of cotton balls.

I am made of string.

christmas day: first entry. [ a series of brief ramblings about a shitty day. ]

2006-12-25T10:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Melissa,
Here is your horoscope
for Monday, December 25:

Yours is normally one of the most pragmatic signs of the zodiac, but today you're living in your own world. Is that such a bad thing? Capture a few of these visions and see if you can bring them to life.

certainly in a world of my own. lots of marijuana and tranqs today. wine later. anything later. i hate christmas. i hate it. this day sucks more than any day when you are sad or depressed because everyone around you is 10 x 's happier then normal ( or at least they are really really pretending that they are) and you are no where near that. nowhere near, and in that comparison, you feel even worse about yourself. fucking christmas.
fucking holidays.

i do care about all you people.
i just don't know how to suddenly express that
because i'm forced to.

the only good thing is that people are back
they are here, and their existence
makes me thrive to some degree.

happy holidays kids. the day is already half way finished.

[p.s. my chritmas present to my mother is shooting the day, so i have spent a lot of time near garland. is that stuff toxic? my dog was eating tinsel earlier. i think that's not healthy at all. this may be his first and last christmas if he isn't careful. and for godsakes that dog has add. one picture. i just want one picture. he licks my camera lens. it's a messy business. ]

me and my backyard on a boring day.

2006-12-20T20:38:00.000-08:00

backyard portraits
starring me.
thank you tripod.

the recluse emerges. [i went to the park. ]

2006-12-19T22:30:00.000-08:00

colleen and I took photos.

2006-12-19T14:57:00.000-08:00

at the theatre, canatara beach
model: colleen doyle

smoke break
model: colleen doyle

out in the bush model:
colleen doyle

2006-12-17T08:38:00.000-08:00

Dear Melissa,
Here is your horoscope
for Sunday, December 17:

You can transform a tricky situation with your unique skills. Present your vision and refuse to play by the rules if you want to get results. Once you make your argument, sit back and use a mysterious silence for effect.

2006-12-17T08:25:00.000-08:00

a beautiful piece of work made at blackwater. round table poetry. we folded the page so we couldn't see what line each other wrote. participants: me, johnny, james and theo.

we are weird.

blair wulf and erica had a party and they invited me. so i brought my camera.

2006-12-16T16:02:00.000-08:00

winter walk. w/ observations.

2006-12-13T11:19:00.000-08:00

it looks as though that tree had it's limbs cut off. The red is blood where the stubs are. I wondered if it must be some sort of protectant. This is just up the street from my. I watched my neighbour cut off these branches, one and then the other, each time walking to put them in his backyard. He just did it one afternoon. Out of nowhere. I've been eyeing this tree up for weeks.

This is norm perry park. I take my dog Ferdinand there sometimes. I used to watch footballs games there when I was in highschool, back in the early years where I pretended to give a fuck about things like football. I also learnt how to hit a baseball here for my first time, even though there is no baseball field. My father taught me in the soccer field.

This is a house I am afraid of just up the street from norm perry park. Really strange people have lived there my whole life and I secretly am terrified of it. My brother told me when I was little that the people in there were going to come and kill me. He told me all sorts of things when I was little. Maybe it was induced paranoia. Maybe he was just afraid too. Regardless, I squated down, and took this picture as quickly as possible and walked away for fear of getting eaten or something.

This is where the docks are. Once a man propositioned me down here when I was 16. very odd memory.
winter has come and yes I had to kneel right smack in it's cold wintery snow to bring you this shot. And that's polluted snow folks. Quality Sarnia Pollutants.

This is the grain elevator by the docks. A girl told me once that a guy went up there and brought little children that he smuggled over from the states, raped them and killed them. Apparently no one in sarnia talks about it. Do you ever wonder if these stories about your town are true?

These are leaves. I don't know what else to say. I like the grass in the picture and how crisp the focus is. nice clarity. It's at centennial park. I had to jump over a little frozen stream. I almost fell in.
the trees of centennial park, those minxes.
grain elevators and train tracks a la cliche shot.
The docks. I really liked the play on light. Cuts the picture in two at an interesting point.
My father has been telling me to take pictures of these for two winters. He was right. they are so perfect to shoot. I love that there is only one yellow one. This is at the docks too. I have a lot of pictures of them.

more to come...

2006-12-10T09:35:00.000-08:00

The mysterious naked man.

A mysterious naked man has been reported
on Cranston Avenue. The police are performing
the usual ceremonies with coloured lights and sirens.
Almost everyone is outdoors and strangers are conversing
excitedly
as they do during disasters when their involvement is
peripheral.
'What did he look like?' the lieutenant is asking.
'I don't know,' says the witness. 'He was naked.'
There is talk of dogs--this is no ordinary case
of indecent exposure, the man has been seen
a dozen times since the milkman spotted him and now
the sky is turning purple and voices
carry a long way and the children
have gone a little crazy as they often do at dusk
and cars are arriving
from other sections of the city.
And the mysterious naked man
is kneeling behind a garbage can or lying on his belly
in somebody's garden
or maybe even hiding in the branches of a tree,
where the wind from the harbour
whips at his naked body,
and by now he's probably done
whatever it was he wanted to do
and wishes he could go to sleep
or die
or take to the air like Superman.

 -- Alden Nowlan

received emails as of late from friends far away. jesse sent me a picture of alden nowlan's house that has now become a pub, and I thought it fitting to include a piece by him. i do enjoy this poem.

things new here: me trying to finish up copies of the zine for the 16th. we had a reading at coffee lodge on finch on the 7th of december. went pretty well. i have a few pics i will post in due time (i.e. when i get organized enough to do so.). I have purchased nor made any christmas cards or gifts yet so I am far behind in that sense.

been reading mother night by kurt vonnegut, selected poems by t.s. eliot, margaret atwood, Good Bones and hopefully 0ryx and crake by her soon if I get a chance. too much to do . too much time spent procrastinating. must get on top of things.

thank you everyone for your continued support of the zine and the readings. I really appreciate it so very very much.

2006-12-03T09:33:00.000-08:00

does anyone out there have copies of the mean letters i got in the observer? I've only seen one and I wanted to post them. But I lost my copy!
email: melissaupfold@gmail.com

self portraits. autumn.

2006-11-30T17:44:00.000-08:00

outside in the rain.

an update. as well as new photos from black and red party etc.

2006-11-29T14:04:00.000-08:00

saturday night. 25th of november. isabelle played at blackwater. Black and red party at the newly reopened trinity. The Faids played ( pictures to be posted soon), nice to see people who haven't all gotten together in a while. After party at Jen's. Much conversations of trains and escape. Got home at 6am. here are some of my pictures of people. Jen is an artist, I went to elementary school with dustin and cam, and tyler rode around the country on trains and saw mythical valleys and met a lot of people. i took notes for his stories. seriously.

my internet has been broken for almost a week. it's very hard to communicate when this happens. but hopefully my father will figure out the mess of cords and i can get the rest of the photos up. goods news on the writing front, i am actually writing again. bad news on the zine front, i keep getting trashed in the sarnia observer, and being told about it by people when i go out in public. great. grandma's still in the hospital. december 5th we find out about chemo for derek. cross your fingers folks. i think december will be a bumpy ride.

Jen.

Isabelle Bouffard.

dustin and cam [ and sometimes some other people. ]

Tyler Brandon telling stories about trains and valleys.

random pictures from yesterday.

2006-11-25T11:42:00.000-08:00

my router has crashed apparently. so i am stuck at a coffee shop, working on bywords selection, my own zine, and trying to upload pictures. the only problem here is that there are a lot of noisy children, the part i like: free wireless internet. when all your friends tell you that you can't come over to their house and work, it's nice to know a franchise I don't even have a connection to can be nice to me.

random shots from the day. no order.

2006-11-23T21:57:00.000-08:00

adults go to the park too ( way more too come, somehow took a lot of photos today, oops.)

2006-11-23T15:43:00.000-08:00

for all of you who do not know this, this place is rainbow park, located right beside the plants in sarnia.

makes for a lovely view.

what i've been doing on a day where I feel like shit.

2006-11-22T19:18:00.000-08:00

beautiful day outside. so i sat out there and typed. played music really loudly, propped my front door open so i could hear it from the stereo, and sat on a stool and typed away.

ryan stopped by after work, so i chased him around with my camera.

peggy. the halloween doll.

2006-11-21T19:28:00.000-08:00

I, the disease

where is my body where is my body where is my body where is my body where is my body
my mind has misplaced it.
there is no connection
to this dirt beneath my feet
the ghastly grinning faces,
their garish white teeth.
where am I amongst them?

these limbs will not move as per request
these lips will not curve into the smile
that lights up the room
these hips only point in the downward direction

down.
down.
buried
soon enough

i am a disease,
i am a disease

the repetition is my brain
stuttering.

i do not know who is my friend
or foe

i do not know.

2006-11-20T13:55:00.000-08:00

2006-11-17T12:34:00.000-08:00

more to come....

2006-11-09T11:18:00.000-08:00

november fifth: walking downtown

2006-11-05T16:56:00.000-08:00

2006-11-02T21:46:00.000-08:00

the barn pt. one

2006-11-01T20:49:00.000-08:00

shot at an abandoned barn on the golden mile. sarnia, ont.

2006-10-29T22:14:00.000-08:00

three hours + one camera (well actually two, but I have to develop the other roll/not digital) + a lot on my mind = pictures of a lot of odd things. about 300 pictures. more to come......

2006-10-26T17:10:00.000-07:00

study of a floral tree.
october 26, 2006.